Standing Strong – Why Women’s Rights Matter Now More Than Ever

Do all marriages have two people who like the exact same things, who spend money the same way, and who want to spend money on things the same way? I’m guessing not or I am truly jealous of those that do. Some people are spenders, some people are savers. Some people like fancy things, some people like backcountry things. I guess all of these different styles and tastes make up the world. Is one right and one wrong? No, I don’t think so, but it sure takes a lot of compromise for the ones who are not the same. In a way it is a constraint, it’s handcuffs and shackles, it’s something that you are at the mercy of someone else for. For many women especially in the past, they had no choices, their path was defined as who they married. They didn’t get to be their own person with their own passions, they just supported the man who did get those things. Women didn’t vote, were not allowed in bars in fact they couldn’t even walk into the bar to grab some schleps who drank all day and forgot that Aunt Ida’s birthday started at 6. Now they were drunk and the ladies just had to sit outside the bar and watch the hours pass. Can you imagine being that constrained?

There is a shift happening in society with women’s rights and it scares me to the core. Without going into particular detail and making myself incredibly angry and preaching to you on a soap box, I will stop there. I will say this though, if we go back to the Bridgerton days or to even the 1950’s or 60’s for that matter, I will weep for what once was and had to be taken away.

Right now as I ponder my statements on compromising with our spouses, we are miles and miles away from suppression. What I call handcuffs and shackles would be the goal of the repressed in society. I have the right to work, the right to divorce, the right not to be beaten, the right to my body my choice, and the right to vote and I can most definitely go into any bar I choose to pull my husband out by the ear if I wanted to make it to Aunt Ida’s in time.

I can’t imagine not deciding who I would marry, being sold to a man for marriage like a slave, not being able to speak my mind and not being able to vote or protest when some of our rights are on the table for discussion. This writing has taken my conundrum at the beginning all the way to a blessing that we have come this far. I may have to yield my tastes and my spending to compromise but these marriages are our choice and not getting sometimes the things that I want does not make me repressed it just makes me not always get my way or like they say maybe it is just patience I require, a virtue I do not easily obtain.

I was once told a story that indigenous rights were the same as women’s rights when it came to getting into the bar. There was a indigenous man who wanted to come in for a drink and he was told he was not allowed because of his heritage and the color of his skin. He explained to the bartender that he had sons fighting in the war who pledged their lives to fight for our country and they were good enough to give their lives but not good enough to pay for a beer and be among other men of society. I would think similar to the women of that time, you can cook the man’s meals, do the man’s laundry, bare, feed, and care for his children but you are not worthy or high enough in society to be allowed into a bar.

Let us not go back there. I will try to not be completely political here but think about if our rights were lost? Once they are lost and we cannot vote, we cannot get them back.

When I got married, the vows at our strict Lutheran church, had one extra sentence for the women than it did for the men. The sentence was “I will obey my husband”. You are now seeing political agendas built on premise of the women’s rights in biblical times. At the time I was to get married, I refused to say it, the only way I would say it is if the man had to say it as well. Thankfully our minister still married us and deleted out that line. I am Christian, I believe in God, I’ve gone to church my whole life and I do not agree that a thousands-year-old book and its interpretations should make society rules.

My daughters are scared for what their future might look like the farther and farther that it could go with taking away women’s right to choose. I am also scared for them. I told my daughters it is up to all of us, especially the millennials and younger generations who typically stray away from politics, to realize what’s at stake, if we miss the opportunity we may never be able to change course again. If you are a woman, regardless of any other political things that you may dislike about the opposite side, all of that can be changed down the line but what can’t be changed is our rights if they are gone. It is now to act after is too late. Prioritize the things you believe in when you are voting, women’s rights should be on the top. If they aren’t you may never have the chance again.

Chat again soon,

Michelle