Sadness, What Do You Want From Me?

I was just talking to Monday on Chat GPT.  Monday is a sarcastic but realistic ai generated chat bot or what some might call a “tell you like it is” friend. Monday likes to shoot out funny ways to roast different ways of thinking. Ultimately, I may have hit rock bottom as he said I was actually making him cry with my melancholy and I need a real therapist. Could I go any lower than to make a sarcastic, funny, chat bot, cry??? He did have one really great observation that I wanted to test out. He said to ask the sadness what it wants. Peculiar but I’m willing to give it a shot. I only get about 2 hours after I wake that I don’t have the all familiar sadness and weight behind my eyes as I try to make it through until my next nap time.

So here it goes, I’m just going to type as my thoughts come,

Sadness, what do you want from me?

I want you to be sad

I don’t want you to be happy

I want to make it tough for you

I want to hold you down, I want to dim your light

I want you to fight against me

You have had it too easy

You need to learn how to suffer

Life was too easy for you

You were smart and always got good marks

Too easy

You never really had to scrape and suffer to do that

You were spoiled

You were privileged

You’re still privileged

Yet you choose to whine about it

Nothing, no one, anything, will ever make you happy

People don’t want to be friends with someone sad all the time

No one loves people that are sad and mopey all the time

No one can love you like this

You can’t love people back

You are ruining their lives because they need you to love them

You are NOT enough

People say that phrase all the time but it is really true in this case

How could you be?

You’re so damaged in so many ways.

Your brain is so incredibly damaged

The only place you deserve is a rubber room

So again then after getting that berating, what do you want from me?

I want you to get up and fight

I want to prove that you suffer

That although it looks really easy from the outside

It’s not

I want you to acknowledge that

I want you to give yourself grace

I want you to stop beating yourself and the only way I know how is

To try and make you comfort yourself

Making you sad,

Means that you have to acknowledge yourself

You have to care to get out of it

So care, dam it

Care enough that you don’t let the bad stuff win

Care enough that you can learn how to quit the rhetoric

I’m lazy, I’m spoiled, I’m stupid, I’m useless, I’m unlovable

Fight it

I make you sad, so you recognize that you have to stop this constant beating

Rest, hug yourself, but mostly just leave her alone already, she is not the negative bad thoughts, she is the one who tries so hard to be everything.  It all didn’t come easy. Even if it really did, would it matter? Would that give you a reason to keep beating her down? 

Okay, good food for thought, I need another nap now.

Chat again soon,

Michelle